Q: As the owner of the Relationship Counseling Center of Maryland (RCC), you just successfully passed ten years of being in business! What has been the most fulfilling? 

A: Thank you! We are really excited about reaching that milestone last year. The most fulfilling part is to watch the growth and progress of our clients. It is very rewarding to see individuals, couples, and families doing well in their relationships.

Q: What was the moment you realized you wanted to be a marriage and family therapist?

A: I volunteered for a domestic violence shelter when I was in college and I enjoyed talking to the women and children who lived in the shelter and understanding their life experiences.

Q: For anyone seeking therapy, what is essential to having a successful experience? 

A: Client readiness (that is, the client’s readiness to do the necessary and difficult emotional work in therapy) is a big factor. The couples who do well are also the ones who are committed to their relationships and are open to some of the suggestions for trying new modes of engagement. They work hard to make positive efforts at home and to be vulnerable with their partners in session. These couples take responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Q: In your experience, what have been the most common issues couples face?

A: Many couples experience communication problems, such as verbal conflict and invalidation of one another’s feelings. Couples also commonly deal with issues around infidelity, finances, and emotional and physical intimacy.

Q: When you have issues in your own relationships, do you utilize any of the techniques from therapy, and, do they work? 

A: They work! I take a deep breath, stop, and listen. I also explain my side from an emotional (feelings) standpoint and take responsibility for my part in the misunderstanding or issue that was created.

Q: Are there times when the work becomes too overwhelming and if so, what do you do to manage?

A: I am a strong believer in self-care, particularly for our therapists, and that includes myself. I do deep breathing exercises and try to stay current with yoga, exercise, and social activities. I also see my own therapist to process my own emotions.

Q: Is there a secret ingredient you look for when hiring associates to be a part of RCC?

A: We look for a good team member, warmth in personality, responsiveness, and excellent clinical skill. We choose therapists who are passionate about their work and love what they do, and are interested in always improving and growing. We have added many fantastic therapists to the RCC team and they have added wonderful new elements to the RCC family. We are very fortunate to have our therapists and because of them, our practice is growing every day!

Q: If you could give an aspiring therapist advice, what would it be?

A: One of the most important things you can do as an aspiring therapist is to do the personal work on yourself. Go to individual therapy and explore who you are and what makes you tick. Resolve any past emotional issues and work on healthy boundaries with others. You will also experience therapy from the client’s point of view, and that is valuable information. These things all translate to the therapy room when you are finally sitting in the therapist’s seat.

Q: On behalf of the Relationship Counseling Center of Maryland (RCC), thank you for being on staff as a therapist! What has been the most exciting part in working with RCC and its clients?

A: The most exciting part about working at RCC is that we are very collaborative here as staff and with our clients. I have been a part of this practice for 5 years now and I appreciate the spirit of working together as a family with our staff and how we make it clear to our clients that the therapy process is a collaborative process as well. This makes everyone feel that they have agency and our clients always seem empowered knowing that we value their efforts, thoughts, and growth in their treatment. 

Q: In your style of therapy, do you like to tackle the main issue head-on, or focus on the deeper issues first?

A: Clinically, it is helpful to start understanding the main issue first. Clients need answers or insight about their issues quickly. My style is to understand the presenting problem first and start to explore the deeper issues over time. Tackling the main issue head on also gives clients reassurance that you understand their concerns and that you are dedicated to addressing their problems. But, my current clients will tell you – I give a lot of attention to the deeper issues for the majority of the treatment because we need to “treat the wounds” and not just apply band-aids.  

Q: Have you yourself been to therapy?

A: Yes, I have been to therapy myself. I was in therapy for about 2.5 years and I wrapped up my treatment a couple of months ago. Going to therapy is one of the most important decisions I have made in my life both personally and professionally. In fact, going to therapy and working out my own inter- and intrapersonal issues has made me stronger as a person and a therapist. The best reward is seeing how my clients are getting the best version of myself. I honestly feel that you cannot be a therapist and not go to therapy yourself at some point – practice what you preach!

Q: What was the moment you realized you wanted to be a marriage and family therapist?

A: I always knew that I wanted to be a clinician but I realized that I wanted to be a marriage and family therapist when I was in college and I took a class on couples’ relationships my senior year. There, I started to understand romantic relationships and divorce better. I did not understand how complicated relationships were when I was younger and so I was curious to go into a field that allowed me to understand relational dynamics in a clear and effective way. 

Q: What do you like most about working with people?

A: Getting to know them – hands down! My clients and I have a strong connection. This strong bond exists because it is important to take the time to get to know them outside of their presenting problems. My clients are amazing people and my job is to keep reminding them that they are not their problems and there are strengths and endearing qualities about them. This therapeutic relationship provides the trust that keeps them secure during the treatment process.  

Q: Outside of being a therapist, what are some of your hobbies?

A: I like to travel domestically and internationally, work out (I do a lot of cardio throughout the week), play video games, try different restaurants and watch movies with my fiancée. I am a very busy person so most of my hobbies are predicated on me relaxing and having a great time with my fiancée and friends. 

Q: What do you do for self-care?

A: I do a couple things for self-care – I work out, watch my favorite shows, and laugh. Anyone who knows me knows that I believe that laughing is the best self-care tool because it is the cheapest and easiest way to stay healthy and sane!

Q: In your experience, what is the most important thing that can strengthen a relationship?

A: Being non-judgmental. In my opinion, we live in a society that is so polarized and judgmental that it inhibits folks from truly being themselves. I see it play out in couples’ relationships where partners feel that they cannot always be who they are, in fear that their partner will either judge them or not want to be with them. That is a shame. Not judging your partner allows for more emotional intimacy, it fosters a deeper level of trust, and it honestly makes things much more relaxed. I always want my couples to be clear with their partner; it is preferred to be your true self (whatever that may look like) and love yourself because authenticity without judgments allows for the best version of the relationship to surface. 

Q: Welcome to the Relationship Counseling Center of Maryland (RCC), Wilson! We are excited to have you on staff as a therapist. What are you most excited for in working with us and our clients? 

A: Thanks for having me! I’m most excited to be working with such a strong team. The therapists here are all well-trained and very supportive. They offer many different perspectives when discussing cases that allow me to take a step back and re-analyze my approach.

Q: In your style of therapy, do you like to tackle the main issue head-on, or focus on the deeper issues first?

A: I focus on the deeper issues first. The main issue that brought the client to therapy is usually the tip of the iceberg of a more vulnerable issue. However, vulnerability is quite difficult for anyone to address, so I take my time slowly addressing themes around those deeper issues until the client feels comfortable enough to openly discuss their most vulnerable parts.

Q: Have you yourself been to therapy? 

A: Yes! Attending therapy has been one of the most rewarding and humbling experiences I’ve ever had. There is a lot of negative stigma around therapy that makes people think if you go, you’re admitting that you’re weak, or something is wrong with you. I think it is unrealistic for anyone to think that they have no weaknesses. Many people experience shame when asking for help, but it takes courage to advocate for yourself in that way. I think therapy provides a vehicle for people to identify their blind spots in a healthy way in order to grow as an individual. As a therapist, it makes me more mindful of my clients’ experiences and perspectives in the therapy room.

Q: What was the moment you realized you wanted to be a marriage and family therapist?

A: I knew I wanted to be a therapist when I was 16 years old after talking with a friend who was struggling with their parents’ divorce. I didn’t yet know, though, what kind of therapist I wanted to be. I considered Child Psychologist, Criminal Psychologist, and Social Worker before landing on Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). I really appreciate the systemic approach a MFT takes in their work, which is what attracted me to that profession over the others.

Q: What do you like most about working with people? 

A: Everyone has a story. I’m not good at reading, but I still enjoy the adventure clients take me on with their story. I see myself as a co-editor of the story each client is writing. My goal is to help them construct their preferred narrative and finish their book. I’m also aware I don’t look like/act like a typical therapist. I’ve had many clients enter the room and say “You’re not what I expected a therapist to be like.” I think that really speaks more to the stigma that scares people away from therapy. I’m hoping in my work I am able to show people that our community isn’t one to be feared.

Q: Outside of being a therapist, what are some of your hobbies?

A: I really enjoy singing. I find it very therapeutic and enjoy attending karaoke events. I also play volleyball competitively about 3 days a week.

Q: What do you do for self-care?

A: While I see my hobbies as a large component of self-care, I also meet with some friends once a month for a game night where we engage in some fun board games. I also love food, and therefore love to cook. At one point, I was considering culinary arts school before pursuing a career in mental health. Cooking for one is okay, but there is no greater joy than cooking for friends.

Q: In your experience, what is the most important thing that can strengthen a relationship? 

A: Validating our partner. Hands down. Everyone wants to be heard, but nobody wants to listen. It is so easy for us to ignore our partner when they are expressing themselves because we are focused on waiting for them to finish so we can get our point across. Being able to understand our partner’s experience is valuable in order to have our own subjective experience understood. It’s not about agreeing or disagreeing. It’s simply acknowledging that your partner feels a certain way, and that they are allowed to feel that way.

Q: Welcome to the Relationship Counseling Center of Maryland (RCC), Diamond! We are excited to have you on staff as a therapist. What has been the most exciting part about working with us and our clients? 

A: RCC clients come in ready to hit the ground running, meaning they are engaged in the therapy process and ready to do the work that yields the results that they want to see. The therapist plays an integral role in the therapeutic process, but without the commitment of the couple, therapy will not be successful. RCC clients seem to have an understanding for this as soon as they walk through the door and are ready to start making positive changes.

Q: In your style of therapy, do you like to tackle the main issue head-on, or focus on the deeper issues first?
 
A: I like to tackle the main issue, head-on. Clients often come to us in crisis and are looking for immediate support. However, while working on the main issue, you will often find that deeper issues come up and we can begin to work on them simultaneously as the deeper issues have often led to the main issue.

Q: Have you yourself been to therapy?

A: Yes, I am currently in therapy. I 100% believe in the benefits of therapy and having a safe space to freely express one’s self. I also believe that therapy is a great tool for self-improvement and personal growth.

Q: What was the moment you realized you wanted to be a marriage and family therapist?
 
A: I always knew that I wanted to work with families in some capacity. In my undergraduate program, I was drawn to Family Science and did a lot research on families. During this time, I learned about the importance of having a strong, cohesive family and how that leads to positive outcomes for children. With this knowledge, I knew that I wanted a career where I could help families and couples build and maintain strong, healthy relationships; that led me to marriage and family therapy.

Q: What do you like most about working with people?

A: Working with people keeps me on my toes. As a therapist, there is a never a dull day at work. I enjoy being able to learn something new everyday and having the opportunity to view the world through someone else’s perspective.

Q: Outside of being a therapist, what are some of your hobbies or things you do for self-care?

A: I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. For self-care, exercise if often my go-to. When it gets warmer out, I like to spend as much time outdoors as possible. I also like to travel when I can and try new things in new places. Something that I have also been practicing is setting boundaries with others and knowing what energy I have to spend and when I need to focus on myself more.

Q: In your experience, what is the most important thing that can strengthen a relationship?

A: The most important thing that can strengthen a relationship is intimacy and feeling connected to one another. As I stated before, I think we often get wrapped up in the day-to-day hustle and bustle that we often forget to pay attention to our relationships and our partners, which can lead to a decrease in intimacy. Our relationships require hard work and attention and when we give them what they need, we create strong, healthy relationships.

Q: Welcome to the Relationship Counseling Center of Maryland (RCC), Rolonda! We are excited to have you on staff as a therapist. What has been the most exciting part about working with us and our clients? 

A: Being a therapist at RCC is incredibly rewarding. The clients at RCC almost always demonstrate a certain level of eagerness to engage in the therapeutic process. As a therapist, eagerness to tackle the challenges they are facing in their relationships means a lot. It’s also reflective of readiness for change. The therapeutic process can be scary for a lot of people, but in my experience at RCC, clients get a lot of relief by just getting through the door.

Q: In your style of therapy, do you like to tackle the main issue head-on, or focus on the deeper issues first?

A: My style of therapy is a little different; namely, it is context driven. I think it is important to share this style with clients in their initial consultation because it helps to assure that I am the right fit for them as a therapist. In other words, I need to understand the problem and all related factors in depth before tackling any issue. This may take a few sessions as I am learning about each individual. Some may feel that it is slower pace and that they need to address all the issues immediately. However, I think this helps to prevent putting band-aids over wounds. What I find is that most often there are underlying factors that contribute to the issues couples come in with. Therefore I would say, I like to tackle the main issue, increase skill building, and then initiate conversation about those deeper issues.

Q: Have you yourself been to therapy?

A: I have been to therapy, both individual and couple’s therapy. My initial experience was not the greatest and many may share that sentiment. However, I think therapy is not a commitment to the therapist, but a commitment to yourself and to your process. Realizing this helped me give it a second chance. My therapy offers me the opportunity to self-reflect and to focus on how to be a better partner. Even as a therapist, I don’t always have all of the answers. I use therapy as a tool for self-improvement. Being a better individual makes me an even better therapist. I believe that all mental health professionals should have their own therapy. 

Q: What was the moment you realized you wanted to be a marriage and family therapist?

A: The moment that solidified my desire to be a marriage and family therapist came shortly before my acceptance into my graduate program. For most of my adolescence, I knew for sure that psychology would be my route. My passion for it came from my own experiences and the experiences of my family members. A lot of areas of psychology seemed to focus on the mechanics of the brain and individual psychology. Although this was the basis for my education, I knew there were influences at play that were much greater than our own. I recognized that we learn so much from our relationships with other people. This greatly impacts our psyche and how we view the world. It was important for me to use psychology as a way to address some of those social constructs of thoughts and behaviors. The way in which I could do that was marriage and family therapy. I spoke with the director of a clinical psychology program who recommended that I apply to the marriage and family therapy program. He told me that it seemed like a much better fit for my passion. I had never heard of it before that moment, but ever since then, I was absolutely drawn to it. Now, here I am!

Q: What do you like most about working with people?

A: What I like the most about working with people is our capacity to connect with others. I think human connection is a unique aspect of working with people and that there is so much variety in that connection. We have ways in which we connect with ourselves on an individual level and ways in which we connect with others. Human connection makes working with people so much more worthwhile. Our capacity to love, to inspire, and to collaborate with others creates a rich and emotionally valuable experience for us. As a therapist, it fulfilling to be able to witness that.

Q: Outside of being a therapist, what are some of your hobbies or things you do for self-care?

A: In the past, I wasn’t the best at self-care. However, being a therapist, you have to learn to practice what you preach.Some of my favorite self-care hobbies are getting massages (at least every other month), writing, traveling, taking 24-hour self-care days, or taking an hour or so out of my day to recharge (aka naps). I am always very busy and spend a lot of time caring for others, so I find ways to give that same courtesy to myself. Self-care can be big or small, as long as it’s present.  

Q: In your experience, what is the most important thing that can strengthen a relationship?

A: The most important thing that can strengthen a relationship is emotional intimacy. Lack of emotional intimacy, or connection, can drive a wedge between couples, leaving partners feeling unfulfilled. Marriages can begin to feel like running a business.Our roles become about what we need to accomplish such as financial goals, parenting, domestic responsibilities, etc. However, our connection to our partner can get lost in that process and leave us feeling slightly disconnected. Couples must make a commitment to emotional intimacy and prioritize that for their relationship.To keep our relationships strong, we need to be able to reflect on the things that attracted us to each other in the first place.

Q: What is one simple way that a couple can reclaim their emotional intimacy?

A: As far as emotional intimacy, I would recommend that the couple first define what that means and what it looks like for their relationship. Taking a quiz on the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman can help to understand how your partner views emotional intimacy. This will foster open discussion regarding all the ways emotional intimacy can look for your relationship and ways in which you can work towards it.