by Natalie Krenz, MS, LGMFT
Many couples find themselves concerned with handling finances. This problem is not unique to the holiday season. Finances are one of the most fought about topics amongst couples. While financial stress can often cause conflict, it doesn’t have to! There are ways to manage finances with your partner.
1. Plan a Meeting: Couples often run into issues when one partner brings up the topic of finances when the other is unprepared. This can lead to defensiveness and conflict. A way to prevent this is by setting up a time in advance to discuss this sensitive topic with your partner. By setting aside a specific time, or having a meeting, both partners have time to prepare mentally and emotionally to enter the conversation in a better headspace.
2. Agree on a Budget: Couples have various ways they share finances; some choose to keep separate bank accounts while others share. No matter the decision, discussing budgets with your partner is critical. Partners need to be on the same page of how much income needs to go to bills, groceries, transportation, etc. Without this agreement, one partner might have concerns about where money is going, leading to resentment. Additionally, when establishing a budget, it is important to account for both individuals’ needs and desires for spending so that partners do not feel controlled. This is often where compromise may have to come into play. Nevertheless, by discussing these things with your partner, you set the foundation for honesty and transparency which tremendously strengthens the relationship.
3. Prepare to Compromise: Couples consist of two unique individuals coming together, so there may be a need for compromise. It is important to respect that you and your partner may have different financial frameworks and decision-making processes. Therefore, it is imperative to communicate clearly about financial expectations, wishes, and needs. Remember to take turns in this process and be a good listener, so your partner feels heard. Furthermore, finances bring up a lot of emotions, so validate your partner’s feelings in the process which can unite you both as a couple. Come prepared to compromise so that you can come to an agreement. It is worth it to put the work into handling finances as a team, even though the negotiation may take a bit longer.
