by John Hart, PhD, LGMFT
Since May is Mental Health Month, it is imperative we also give attention to mental health awareness and ways couples can play a significant role in promoting mental health in their partner and in the relationship. One in five Americans is affected by mental health conditions and there is a good chance that at some point, you and your partner, have been impacted by various mental states – anxiety, depression, alcoholism, explosive anger, etc. Whether clinically diagnosed with these conditions or just experiencing isolated “episodes,” we should feel empowered to use our love to support our partner’s well-being. Research shows that the way we perceive our relationships can be shaped by your mental state. Thus, there is an incentive in making sure mental health is a priority in our romantic relationship. There are three critical ways to support our partner’s well-being:
1. Open Up Dialogue: We live in a world in which having a mental health condition causes people to experience shame, fear and inhibits their desire to want to discuss what is going on with them. This is because there is a stigma with having a mental health condition. As a result, we should engage our partners in an open, safe, and understanding way when asking about their well-being. Make sure to listen, ask open-ended questions, and validate their emotions and experiences.
2. Think Prevention: One of the most important themes for mental health awareness is understanding one’s physiological, emotional, and psychological states so that way we can prevent acute situations. We can prevent mental health problems from getting out of hand by increasing conversations with your partner about stressors and vulnerabilities in their lives and ways to cope. But the most important way to prevent mental health issues from spiraling is to consider seeking professional help. This is an important conversation to have as a couple and it is important to show our partner that attending together is a better option because we do not want our partners to feel further isolated.
3. Laugh More: Over the years in both of my personal and professional life, I always told those around me that the cheapest and healthiest thing you can do in life is to laugh. For this strategy, you do not need to order a book nor do you need to see a therapist (though we are always here for you and your partner) – all you need to do is to use your refreshing personality to make your partner smile and laugh. We want more laughing in our relationship because it is such a positive experience and it enhances connection when we laugh together with our partner.
