by Meg Tenny, LCMFT
‘Tis the holiday season again and families are gearing up to spend time together celebrating. Unfortunately, holidays sometimes bring with them family conflict and strife. Strong personalities clash, old hurts resurface, and political stances collide. What is the best way to get through the holidays without allowing these powerful forces to ruin your family’s quality time together?
1. Pick Your Battles: Just like with your partner, you can pick your battles with your family. When you marry your spouse, you marry their family as well. The holidays are not the best time to bring up grievances. Decide beforehand where your boundaries lie and communicate this with your spouse. Try not to get stuck on the small things.
2. Don’t Try to Change Anybody: There is a certain amount of acceptance that comes with knowing that your family members are who they are. No matter how much you might argue with them, they might not change their beliefs. Try to focus on positive parts of the relationships instead. Remember that most people have good intentions at heart, even if it may not always be expressed appropriately.
3. Embrace the Holiday Spirit: Understand that the holidays are a short period of time and you may be better served to change your attitude about spending time together. Going into the experience with a giving spirit can change much of your outlook and enhance the time you do have together.
