by Meg Tenny, LCMFT
Research shows that caring for a pet can decrease stress and anxiety, and improve overall emotional well-being. But pets also provide us with some important lessons on love. Dogs, in particular, show us what unconditional love is and how to love, no strings attached. Dogs can teach us how to go about building healthier attachments with our humans. What works for dogs can work for people too.
1. Bark Less, Listen More: You wouldn’t be the first dog owner to admit that you talk to your dog about your problems, out loud and frequently. Dogs are phenomenal listeners. They will give you undivided attention without interruption. Your dog might even give you a cuddle and make you feel better. Wouldn’t it be nice if our loved ones could do the same for us – to listen without disruption, without offering advice or opinion? Often, people need to work out their emotions verbally and benefit more from the act of being heard by another.
2. Love with Ridiculous Abandon: Is there anything better than coming home at the end of the day to a wagging tail? If you are a dog owner, one of the best parts of your day is arriving home and your pooch being thrilled to see you again. It is the equivalent to your partner’s face lighting up when you walk into the room. You are loved and your presence was missed. Your dog loves you unconditionally, despite the dumb things you’ve done, despite your quirks and your faults. You are wonderful and imperfectly perfect just the way you are. If people loved as fully and faithfully as dogs, human relationships would be more trusting, connected, and joyful.
3. Be 100% Present: To a dog, or to any non-human animal for that matter, only this moment matters. Dogs don’t anticipate the future or dwell on the past. They are one-hundred percent focused on the events of the now. How many times has your depression about past events or your anxiety about the future gotten in the way of being present and fully enjoying life? It is hard to love your partner wholly or to enjoy the moment if you are consumed by upcoming events or griping about historical incidents. It may be time to let go and practice mindfulness. You will be a more peaceful and playful person and your relationship will benefit as well. Dogs train us to stress less, play more!
